The Negotiation Guru

The single biggest danger in negotiation is not failure but to be successful without knowing why you are successful. -Jens Thang

In negotiation, you have to persuade. It can improve your negotiation results. Persuasion is something everyone has to do. There is no secret formula on how to persuade more effectively. It depends on which persuasion principles that you apply.

The 6 principles of persuasion by Robert Cialdini is not rocket science at all. This post will provide an overview of the 6 principles of persuasion which you can use immediately in your next negotiation. These 6 principles are there to guide you and not rules to live by.

Look at them as guidelines which can open up more options for you when you negotiate.

1. Principle of Liking

Image By: Mareen Fischinger

People are easily influenced by what they like. Research have shown that there are many things you can like someone (e.g physical attractiveness, compliments and cooperative efforts). However, one factor really stands out. And it’s the most powerful and easiest to implement: Similarity

We like people who are similar to us (in as many ways as possible). You generally trust a person more if that person is similar to you. Find something that is genuinely in common between you and the other party. It really has to be genuine or the other party can see through it immediately. Something which you are able to find a real connection with that person and create an interesting conversation. This works both ways. You will not only find that the other person likes you more, you will also come to like that person because you found something that’s similar.

The way to bring down the influence barrier is to let the other party see that you like him. This is more important than he liking you.

As an effective negotiator, we should spend time in trying to discover similarities between relevant parties and bring them out. Identify the interests that both parties have in common.

2. Principle of Authority

People are easily influenced by what they deemed as legitimate authorities. Higher authority positions can be attained by skills, knowledge, experience or even title. We are socially influenced to associate credibility with authority. It works amazingly if the person you are trying to influence recognizes your background, expertise and credentials in the particular area. People feel secure in following the opinion of an expert.

The problem with some poor negotiators is that they often brag about themselves. They appear to be a braggart and a jerk in the eyes of the other party. It turns people off.

In order to be more persuasive, being an expert is not sufficient.

You must also be able to communicate that you are a trusted source of information. For e.g if you are a negotiating on a particular deal, inform parties of your experience in doing such deals. You can do this in the preliminary conversations that you have with the other party. Mention your expertise in the subject matter of the negotiation.

One trick to demonstrate your trustworthiness is by admitting your own weaknesses. If you are unclear on a particular area, be ready to admit it. This will actually lower the influence barrier.

There is a strategy that many strong negotiators use when they are in a weaker spot. It will be effective if you are in a lower position: Before you give your strongest argument, mention a weakness first. Mention that you do not have a good position, you have more to lose if the deal does not turn out well. Tell them even if they already know. Do not pretend to be in a position which you are not. As soon as you are able to point out your weakness, you are in the context of credibility. You show that you are being truthful. Higher credibility, lower barriers.

3. Principle of Scarcity

Image by: Chicow

“If we can’t have it, we want it. We make a decision we want it.” - Robert Cialdini

How to make people want something more? Make it scarce.

When people know that they can’t have something, availability is tapering off, it’s rare and it’s scarce, they will want it more than ever. As something or an opportunity becomes less accessible, it becomes more desirable. The lack of availability and scarcity confer value on things.

Scarcity is one huge decision trigger.

Before any negotiation, think about what is unique and uncommon that we have to offer. And they can’t get it if they do not move in our direction. What is there to lose for them if they do not say yes to us. People are generally more motivated by the idea of losing something than gaining the very same thing. People are afraid of the pain of losing than the contentment of gaining. As humans, we do everything we can to avoid pain.

Sometimes, we can be more persuasive if we are able to present what stands to be lost than emphasizing what stands to be gained. Emphasize the benefits that the parties will lose if they do not come to an agreement. In negotiation, you can point out the advantages that will be lost if the proposal is not accepted. Tell them what benefits they will lose. People feel the need to know what they will stand to lose.

4. Principle of Consistency

People want to appear consistent and rational. They want to be consistent with what they said and how they act previously. We can use the principle of consistency quite effectively in negotiations by getting the other party to agree with the standards he articulated in his prior statements. Anticipate what type of standards the other party will adhere to and make your arguments based on their standards. You can get them committed to a set of rules by using written commitments. The chances of them straying off will decrease tremendously.

Have them explicitly state a position and position your arguments in a way that will play to that position they have taken.

Robert Cialdini suggest that negotiators should avoid having parties state their “bottom line”. Once they have state their bottom line, it will be hard to move them away from that. Instead, he encourages parties to state their interests and to agree publicly to consider a range of options that you might put out.

Take time out to do more research into parties. Spend more time with them. Figure out what they are most committed to, most value and most want to attain. Let them determine what is important to them and go in such a way that is reactive to what they have pointed out.

Be aware of manipulative people out there who lay consistency traps to get you agree to a set of standards.

5. Principle of Reciprocity

People return what others have given them. This is not only material or monetary. It can be of any form. If you set out to help someone, you will be more likely to receive help from them in return. They will feel the obligation to repay you.

In the business world today, there is a lot of room to apply the principle of reciprocity. Find out more about the parties and see how you can help them. By taking the first step to help them, they will feel the desire to help you out in the future. Moreover, you show that you are genuinely interested in enhancing their business and you begin forming healthy relationships with them.

For negotiation, we can increase the chance the other party will be collaborative by being collaborative first. If you set out to be competitive and uncooperative during negotiations, you will most likely receive the same treatment. By giving concessions and sharing information first, you will encourage the other party to do the same.

The key to using the principle of reciprocity is to be the first.

Be the first to give concession.
Be the first to help.
Be the first to be courteous.
Be the first to be cooperative.
Be the first to give information.

Whatever you do first, will come back to you eventually.

6. Principle of Social Proof

When it comes to decision making, people look to what others have done. To decide what is important for us in a given situation, we look to other similar individuals. In times of uncertainty, people tend to follow the lead of others.

In negotiations, the situation can be ambiguous and the issues being discussed can be very complex. When in such a situation, parties will look to experts to guide their decision. If you reach an impasse in your negotiations, point out that how similar negotiations have been conducted and how they are being resolved. Provide evidence that others like them have made this choice and how they have been benefited from their decision.

When people have witnessed what others have done before, they will be more willing to make the same decision.

Conclusion

As as you able to see, there are 6 principles of persuasion which Robert Cialdini have identified. You can apply these principles in your negotiation or even in your daily life when you are trying to persuade someone. On the other hand, we are just as susceptible to these principles. Being aware of these principles can help you understand how and why you are being influenced. To ensure maximum success in your next negotiation, pick one of these principles which suits your situation and try it!

On a side note, I would like put a link to Nancy Hudgins and Victoria Pychon ’s posts on the same subject.

1) Inoculate Against the Rule of Reciprocation
2) Negotiation: Getting the Rule of Reciprocation to Work for You
3) The Rule of Reciprocation
4) Power Principles

Special thanks to Nancy for the amazing articles which helped in my research for this post. (principle of reciprocity!)

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Jens Thang
Negotiation Skills for Everyone

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Email: jens@thenegotiationguru.com

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Related Links

1. 8 Best Ways to Get Power: Master Them to Negotiate Everything You Want

2. 4 Simple Habits to Power Up Your Negotiation

3. How to Win in Negotiation: 4 Key Steps to Help You Prepare

4. How to be a classy negotiator?

5. What do people lack most when they negotiate?

Tags: adr, business, conflict resolution, influence, mediation, negotiation, psychology, strategy, tips

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 28th, 2008 at 8:47 pm and is filed under Others, Psychology, Standards, Tactics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.