The Negotiation Guru

Some negotiators are prone to using jargons while negotiating. Lawyers are very guilty of this. They use such language to assume the position of being more superior. Do not feel intimidated by their language. Instead, neutralize it. Play it to your advantage.

Have you ever chatted with a scientist about the subject he’s a guru in? I have.

Dr. Lawrence is a renowned neuroscientist. His research is at the forefront of neuroscience. I had an opportunity to have a chat with him.

I asked him about the research that he was doing. That was probably the last thing I should have done if I wanted to build rapport with him. I was lost after the first 5 words he spoke about his research. He was giving me so much technical jargons that I didn’t understand. It was not rocket-science but neuroscience was not any simpler. I felt pressurized and I definitely felt like an idiot.

This is very common even in negotiations. To appear more superior to you, the other party might start to throw in jargons that you might be unfamiliar with. Lawyers might spell out some laws which you do not understand. This can be intimidating. People are afraid to appear ignorant. And because they are afraid to look stupid, they do not seek clarification.

If you do not understand, ask!

Alternatively, you can say “I am not sure of what you have just said. Can you explain it to me in simpler terms?”

Do not be afraid to ask for clarifications. If you feel that the other party is just using the language tactic to gain leverage, call out the tactic.

“If we want to have a good deal, I believe it is important for both sides to understand each other properly. I will appreciate if you can explain whatever you have just said to me in a way that I can understand.”

Remember: Do not be intimidated by the language tactic. Reverse it.

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Jens Thang
Negotiation Skills for Everyone

Email: jens@thenegotiationguru.com

Definitely! You can have too much power when it comes to negotiation. This happens when you know that the other party has much more to lose should there be no deal. So, can having too much power be a bad thing? Yes.

When people have too much power, they tend to be arrogant. Your arrogance will show in the way you negotiate. You want to make the other party feel that a good relationship is being built in the process of negotiation. You should not make her feel that she is being bullied into closing the deal with you. Let the other party leave the negotiating table feeling victorious.

The other party will appreciate that you do not abuse your power. In return, there might be a higher chance of her returning the favor to you. If you do follow the law of reciprocity, you will understand that it pays to be nice (sometimes!). Believe in Karma.

In a business negotiation, you want to aim for a healthy working relationship.

Having too much power can cause you to underestimate the other party. Power is a perception concept. How much power each other has, depends on how the other party perceive them to have.

You might think that the other party is weak and therefore underestimate his power. This can be dangerous. Never underestimate the party you are negotiating with. The power balance in negotiation is dynamic. It changes every single minute. I will discuss the dynamism in the negotiation process in my later posts.

Remember: Even when you have a lot of negotiating power, do not abuse it.

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Jens Thang
Unleash The Negotiation Guru In You!

Email: jens@thenegotiationguru.com

This is something I learn from Tim Ferris’ “The 4-Hour Workweek” book.

To learn more, please buy his “4-Hour Workweek”. It has much valuable information inside. It’s about getting the life you want. He gives useful tips on how to live the life. Negotiate for the life that you want!

Tim Ferris gave a simple 5 step process to negotiate with your boss. It’s as easy as that!Step 1: Increase Investment

Get your boss to invest more in you. Tell him about the employee training program that will be beneficial to the company such as “Negotiation Executive Workshop”. This is to get your boss to make investment in you so that he will feel he has more to lose if you do quit at the end of the day. Very smart move!

Step 2: Prove Increased Output Offsite

Call in sick 2 days of a normal workweek. Do it on Tuesday and Thursday. The reason why is because you don’t want to give the impression that you want a 3-day long weekend. It’s just more convincing. Make sure that you really do work on these 2 days. In fact, work harder. Be 5 times more productive than normal. How do you let your boss know that? Send him deliverables. Send him emails. Let him know what you have done. Show him what you have done. Tim suggests using GoToMyPc remote access software so that you can pilot your office computer from home.

Step 3: Prepare the Quantifiable Business Benefit

Create a bullet-point list of what you have achieved during the 2 days of sick leave. Show it to your boss. You must present it in such a way that letting you work from home is good for the business, not just a personal gain. Explain that without the distraction of office noise and the commute, you are able to do more.

Step 4: Propose a Revocable Trial Period

Revocable is a keyword here. You must still let your boss feel that he has power over you. Propose that you wish to work from home 2 days a week.

“Hey boss, for a trial, I let to propose to work from home 2 days a week. You can revoke it anytime you want if you do not think it’s good for the business.”

The reason why you propose 2 days is so that at least you have a backup of proposing 1 day.

Step 5: Expand Remote time

Always make sure that you are MOST productive when you are away from the office.

“I was shocked at the results of me working at home. It makes a lot of business sense too. I have achieved so much from working at home. I am enjoying my work so much more now. I would like to suggest doing a 2-day week. I will come in on Wednesday and Friday. We can do any 3 days you prefer.”

“I can’t do that.”

“What’s your main concern?”

“What if everyone wants to do the same?”

“You are right. You have a very valid reason. Let me be honest. I was actually having the intention to quit after all the interruptions, commuting and whatnot. But I am actually surprised by how I feel after working from home. I feel that I can be more productive at home and be much happier. Not everyone can work from home. They have to exhibit that they are more productive at home. If they are really more productive, why not let them work at home too? This makes a lot of business sense. Can I test it out for another 2 weeks? I will show you the results and if you are not happy, you can always change your mind.”

“By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day. – Robert Frost

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Jens Thang
Negotiation Skills for Everyone

Email: jens@thenegotiationguru.com

“Well, I really like you have proposed but I need to discuss this with my boss first.”

This is probably the most irritating thing to hear after you have spent hours negotiating.

“After I have spent so many hours negotiating with you, you are telling me you cannot make a decision?”

Of course you should not say this out. This will sound too hostile and offensive. But I won’t stop you for screaming this in your head or feel the urge to land a punch right in his face. Just make sure you still carry a smile! No, don’t punch him, yet.

Negotiation guru Richard Shell calls this “Fake Authority Ploys”. He believes that people lie about the authority they have when they do not. Or people lie about the authority they do not have when they actually do. Confusing?

Imagine this, when you are trying to get a discount on an item:

“You know what, my boss says no to such a term. But I am going to give it to you. I am making this exception just for you. Let’s keep this between me and you.”

“I can’t do this. I have to consult my boss first. I will do that before I get back to you.”

Perhaps both are lies. You will never know. So what should you do? Ask!

“Maybe I should talk to your boss directly since you are not able to make the decision.”

“Who is the decision maker in this negotiation? I would prefer to negotiate with him directly since you are not able to make the decision.”

Remember: Always find out who’s the decision maker before you negotiate.

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Jens Thang
Unleash The Negotiation Guru In You!

Sometimes we do have to negotiate people who are very competitive. They are always out to win. Winning to them, is their life. They cannot accept anything less than victory.I still remember an incident which I had to negotiate with a client of mine.

Let’s call him Teddy.

Teddy is a tempestuous guy. He gets angry at the slightest thing. I am always very aware of him when I deal with him. He’s definitely a good client to keep as I always get referral businesses from him.

I was negotiating a deal that I agreed to verbally but had to pull out due to personal commitments. Teddy is definitely not an easy guy to negotiate with. I had fun anyway.

“Teddy, I won’t be able to make it for this gig on Sat. Can you get someone to replace me?”

He started to get emotional.

“Jens, I have always given you businesses. Now you are playing me out. You have no respect for me…etc”.

I zoned out immediately. Thinking back, I shouldn’t have. A good negotiator should never zone out when the other party is speaking.

This is my reply to him.

“Teddy, I understand that you are under this pressure because this client is really huge. And you want to maintain a good relationship with him. The deadline must be putting a lot of pressure on you. I really can’t make it this Saturday. It’s totally my fault. Tell you what, I will find a substitute for me.”

Help others get what they want, you will get what you want

These are the 3 things I did:

1) Never put them down

Let them walk away a winner, not a loser. Some really competitive people want to win in every negotiation or argument. You have to let them win (or at least not lose). By putting them down will only ruin the relationship between you and him. He might even find some other channels to get back. This is not healthy. Learn to let him feel like he’s the winner so that he can save some skin.

2) Probe for the reasons why he’s behaving this way

More often than not, people behave in a certain way for many reasons. Instead of talking about the deal, I talked about him. I asked myself, “What’s the main reason that Teddy is behaving this way?” I soon realized that it could be because he was under a lot of pressure to make sure things went smoothly.

3) Give acknowledgments

After you have identified the key reasons why he’s behaving this way, acknowledge it.

“I understand that you are under a lot of pressure.” People are less than willing to admit that they are under a lot of pressure. This is especially so for males. They do not wish to appear weak. Subtly let him know that it’s alright to feel that way. He will feel that you understand his position and this puts you in a better position to negotiate with him.

4) Make suggestions

If possible, try to suggest an alternative. One of the key skills that a negotiator can have is to be creative and generate alternatives for a deal. I made a proposal towards the end that will solve his problem, take some pressure off him and allow me to get what I want. This is another win-win situation.

Remember: Let the other party leave the negotiating table feeling victorious.

This is my favorite tactic. I like to see the drama. Some of them are so bad at acting that they suck at deploying this good cop/bad cop tactic.

Have you gotten two people across the negotiating table with 2 very different perspectives?

The “good cop” starts off with a very friendly tone and tries to build rapport with you. He is so nice that you can almost feel that he is trying to negotiate FOR you and not AGAINST you.

“Yes, what you have proposed is really brilliant. I think my company should agree with your proposal.”

Just when you feel that this deal is going somewhere, a “bad cop” starts to interject.

“No! This is too outrageous. We can’t do this deal. Our company will make a huge loss if we agree to these terms.”

He seemingly tries to convince the “good cop” that it is a really bad deal. What the “bad cop” is trying to do is to lower your expectations. They are trying to anchor you. Be very aware when the other party starts to anchor you. This can also happen when they start to make extreme offers.

This movie drama starts to go back and forth. The good cop and bad cop start to disagree with each other. You get confused and start to lose focus. What should you do?

Call out this tactic to them.

“It seems to me that one of you is playing the angel and the other guy the devil. You know, I cannot negotiate with 2 people at the same time. So who is the final decision maker in this negotiation? Who has more authority?”

Find the decision maker and deal with him alone. You often get consultants, accountants and lawyers alongside with the person you are negotiating with. Ignore them. Just deal with the “big guy”. Request that you want to negotiate this alone with the decision maker.

“I like to negotiate this with you in private, without the white noise in the background.”

Remember: Call out the tactic. Deal directly with the decision maker only.