The Negotiation Guru

“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language” – Dale CarnegieOn my way to work this morning, I was having a heated discussion with my colleague who was sitting at the front seat (I was the driver). We were discussing a project we are working on currently. Another colleague decided that he was not interested in the discussion, put on his ipod and fell asleep.

Suddenly, at the mere mention of his name, he woke up (perhaps he was eavesdropping). But this shows how important a person’s name is to him. You can wake a dead from his sleep just by calling his name. No one cares about other people’s name more than his own. We are only tuned to what we want to hear.

This is the magic contained in a name. During negotiations, we have to be respectful to the party we are negotiating with. Learn to remember the names of the party you are negotiating with. Addressing the other party by his last name can be a way to show respect. Addressing him by his first name can breed familiarity. It all depends on the type of negotiation you are in. During a transactional negotiation such as negotiating with a salesperson, I always make it a point to ask for his name and use his name frequently throughout the entire negotiation. All of a sudden, we became good friends and the success rate of the negotiation increased tremendously.

Andrew Carnegie, one of the greatest negotiators ever walked on this earth, had the policy of remembering and honoring names of his business associates. Why shouldn’t you do the same?

As I was driving this morning, I discovered something about human psychology. Or rather, I was under the effects of human psychology. I was driving and decided that I should take the right lane as it had faster traffic. As I drove on the right lane for 5 mins, it became really slow. Cars were moving very slowly, and the cars on the left lane were zooming past me. Subconsciously I was telling myself, “The right lane will be faster, I am pretty sure about that”. I stuck to my original decision for a good whole 10mins.

Suddenly, I realized that I was not making a rational choice. I should have switched to the left. So why didn’t I do that?I had invested too much into right lane. To prove that I was right, I stuck to my own decision despite it was not a rational thing to do. This is common to investors who invest in the stock market. They always sell the stocks that are earning and keep the stocks that are losing money. And this is because they want to prove that their initial judgment is right.In negotiation, we often get too committed to a deal. We invest our time and effort into preparing a deal and negotiating it. As time passes, we grew more committed to closing the deal. People say yes to a bad deal because they have invested too much and feel that they will lose more if they have no deal.Avoid getting hooked into such a situation. Always have a bottom-line and never compromise on your goals. Sometimes, no deal is better and a bad deal.