The Negotiation Guru

I stressed the importance of using standards when negotiating. However, many negotiations reach an impasse after both parties fail to agree on a single standard to use for their negotiation. It can be counterproductive if both parties spend too much time on the standards. Standards are definitely important. But if we are unable to agree to the standards, we should set it aside and get down to the issues. Start finding out the other party’s interests.

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Jens Thang
Unleash The Negotiation Guru In You!

My team arranged to have a meeting at the lobby. In order to enter the building, we had to scan our identity card. I rushed to leave my apartment and left my card at home. I was refused entry by the security card. I explained my situation, and she referred me to the front desk to get approval.

At the front desk was a lady in her late thirties. She was busy sorting out a stack of documents.

“Hi, I’ve forgotten to bring my card. Is there a way I can get into the building? I have an important meeting to attend.”

She shook her head in a really dramatic manner and said “No, I can’t help you.”

I began to think of alternatives. I didn’t bring my phone so I was not able to drop my friends a call.

“How about this, I will leave my laptop with you. Let me into the building and I will get my friend out to sign me in.”

“No, you can’t do that. I will not let you in no matter what. This is the rule of the building.”

“Yes, I understand that it’s the rule of the building. I really have a very important meeting and I’m late …Can you make an exception just for this time round?”

“No.” She was really firm.

So I asked her “If you were me, what would you have done?”

“I will go back home and get my card. This is the rule. No one can change the rule. Sorry, I can’t let you in”

“What if YOU live an hour away?” I pursued.

-Pause-

She knew that I was not going to go away and I was really persistent.

“I didn’t mean to be nasty but I really can’t do that,” she said in an apologetic manner. This was my chance.

I kept quiet and looked at her. She became really uncomfortable with the silence and avoided eye contact with me. Finally, she succumbed.

“Alright, I will make an exception this time just for you. I will sign you in with my own card.”

Bingo!

Can you identify the tools I used?

When you do want them to go first, how do you make them go first? And you definitely do not wish to end up in a verbal judo.

“What do you think of this?”

“Why don’t you go first?”

“No, how about you go first?”

“Ya, I will go first after you go first?”

“What?!”

This can get really irritating. And it’s off to a really bad start. Try some of these strategies to get them to open.

1.     Act like you are the fool

Once in a while, we have to play dumb to get things our way. The reason why you want them to open is probably because you lack the information to open. And you can make use of that fact. Play to their expertise and use it to your advantage.

“You are in this industry for a long time and I am really new to this. Tell me what’s a good price for this?”

“I think you should know what’s a fair price since you have done many similar deals before.  Trust that you will give me a good price.”

2.    Suggest an offer based on the information they give

When you start discussing the issues with the other party, you are both revealing information about your interests and concerns. You can try to suggest an offer even if they do not explicitly state one.

“If I hear you correctly, the best price you are willing to give is about $600 000?”

“Are you trying to suggest that if i get 20 of this, you are willing to let it go around $200 each?”

“You mentioned that you are unhappy with the after-sales service. Does that mean that you are willing to pay higher if we do something to improve in that area?”

If the other party is not agreeable to what you suggested, they might try to open with something. Note that you are not opening in this case. You are merely suggesting an offer the other party might make. Always try to start with a range and not a single number.

3.   Start by suggesting something

“I was looking at the bluebook. If i’m not wrong, people are selling your car around the range of $40 000 to $70 000.”

“I saw similar mp3players around, they are all around the range of $200. Is this particular model in that range?”

If you mention that the range is something you “read/heard”, it does not mean you are giving an offer. Give him a chance to correct your range. When the other party comes up with a counter-offer, you will roughly know the range to start negotiating. This will also prevent opening with an offer that is totally out of range and offending the person you are negotiating with.

Sometimes we do get to deal with someone who’s really pompous. I know, you just feel like kicking him in the ass. This type of people dominate conversations. “Listen” is not a word in his dictionary. You are going to face a lot of difficulty trying to get him to shut-up and listen to you. What do you do? Listen!

Never try to rebuke, use sarcasm or attack him back. Perhaps he is really narcissistic and seeks every opportunity to try to showoff. Help him to achieve what he wants. If he wants glory, tell him how closing this deal with you can achieve that goal. If he is concern with his own personal reputation, tell his how closing this deal can do just that.

Everyone seeks recognition. This is even more so for him. Give him what he wants. Stroke his ego if you have to. An important thing to note is that you have to make him keep his promise. You don’t want them to call him the next day only to find out that he has decided to change his decision. Keep everything documented. Get him committed and you are set to go.