The Negotiation Guru

“You can stand tall without standing on someone. You can be a victor without having victims.”
- Harriet Woods

The best way to win and win BIG at a negotiation? Get to a win-win situation.

The main objective of a win-win negotiation is to be able to help the other party get what they want. Here, I am not advocating that you should sacrifice to help them get what they want. Find a solution that is best for both parties. Make them leave the negotiating table feeling that they have won.

The term “win-win” has been abused many times over. You can even negotiate on what a “win-win” solution is. Ideally, you want the other party to feel that it’s a win-win solution as well. It has to be mutual. If you are alone in believing that it’s an ideal win-win situation, you can’t be further from the truth.

So, how can we arrive at a true win-win situation?

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“I don’t even call it violence when it’s in self defense; I call it intelligence.”
- Malcolm X

Experienced negotiators know hundreds of tactics and strategies. However, when under pressure they will instinctly do whatever that works. In a real world negotiation situation, unethical tactics are very common. These tactics come in all direction and you won’t have time to think.

The skilled negotiator is able to deal with unethical tactics quickly with high level of control. With dedication and consistency, we can slowly learn how to deal with unethical tactics.

Here are 5 ways to deal with unethical tactics:

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It’s so hard to find people who are willing to admit their mistakes. What happened to taking ownership of your own mistakes?

It appears to me that many organizations are training their customer-service staff not to admit mistakes. The logic is probably that admitting mistakes means taking responsibility for the wrong-doing.

For many reasons, many people find admitting their mistakes difficult (especially during a negotiation). This is probably due to the cultural assumptions that we have when we make a mistake. Mistakes and failures bring about shame to oneself. We have been taught since young that we ought to feel guilty about failure and should do everything we can to avoid failing.

Think of the times you failed to do accomplish something when you were young. How did your parents react to you? What did your peers say about you? How did you feel about your failure?

This strong combination of shame and unavoidable setbacks while attempting a challenge drives people to give up their goals. They are not prepared for the mistakes they will make on their way to success.

How does this apply to negotiation?

Admitting a mistake you have made during a negotiation is not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, its a sign of strength. It reflects greatly on you. The other party will see you more as a human when you acknowledge your own faults.

When you do acknowledge your own fault, you demonstrate courage. More importantly, you portray yourself as someone with integrity. Maintaining integrity is essential to becoming a good negotiator.

Master negotiators admit their mistakes easily. They understand that by admitting their mistakes, they will enhance the results of their negotiation. By doing so, they also accelerate the progress of the negotiation instead of finding ways to cover up their mistakes. This is a win-win situation.

“Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.” - Mark Twain

Remember: Learn to acknowledge a fault during negotiation.

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Jens Thang
Negotiation Skills for Everyone

Email: jens@thenegotiationguru.com

When I stepped into the office this morning, my colleague was screaming and arguing with the bank rep over the phone. Later I found out that he was actually trying to negotiate to get a charge of $40 waived. He got the charge because of an accident overdraft.

Later I found out from him that he had been calling his bank 3 days in a row. A bank manager promised to waive off his charge when he called on the first day. However, he was still charged $40 by the bank. He probably made about 10 calls to the customer service department and had spoken to more than 10 bank reps and managers. He was really persistent.

“So, do you think it’s worth the effort just trying to get your $40 back?”

“It’s a matter of principle.”

Boy, i was thrown off. He was dead serious about getting his money back. I observed all the calls he made and noted down all the mistakes he did. Finally, I decided to help him out a little.

“Can I make a suggestion?”

“Sure, help me if you can!”

“Call them up again and ask for the customer retention department.”

“What’s that? Can I find the number online?”

He went online to search for the number to the customer retention department.

The department is probably so exclusive (only to serious problematic clients of the banks) that it is not going to be easy to reach them. So I told him to call up the customer service department and asked to be referred to the Customer Retention Department. He did.

”Hi, I am really unhappy with the service that the bank is providing. Can you refer me to the Customer Retention Department?”

“Sir, may I ask the reason?”

He went on the explain for 2 minutes and insisted on getting referred to the Customer Retention Department.

The customer service manager finally gave up and said these words to him, “You know the game, don’t you?”

My friend’s face lit up immediately. He knew he was winning the game, turned over and gave me a thumb up.

Remember: If the customer service department fails you, turn to the Customer Retention Department. And, know your game. =)

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Jens Thang
Negotiation Skills for Everyone

Email: jens@thenegotiationguru.com

This can cost you a lot of money if you fail to understand all the terms and conditions. Always make sure that all the terms are properly negotiated before the end of a negotiation. Do not take things for granted.

I recently learned how important it is to negotiate all the terms and have the terms documented. Do not rely on mutual trust.

The setup

I had to buy a car to travel to work and decided to buy it from a friend. Let’s call him Jerry. The car was not in a good condition but Jerry had to sell it off. Deciding to do Jerry a favor, I agreed to buy the car from him.

There were 2 rounds of negotiation for the car.

During the 1^st round, Jerry offered a price of X amt and he will pay for the transferal fee of title deed. As X amt was not justifiable due to the condition of the car, I decided to negotiate with him two weeks later.

For the 2^nd round, Jerry decided to drop the price a little. I was still a little hesitant. Many friends discouraged me from buying the car. Since I gave him my word earlier, I decided not to negotiate further.

On the day of the sale, he said to me “Jens, you are paying for the transferal fee.”

That took me by surprise. I was living under the impression that he was paying for the transferal fee.

His defense line was, “since it was not mentioned during the 2^nd round of negotiation, whatever that was negotiated during the 1^st round would not be valid.”

He was right. I was the one who made the mistake of not making sure the condition would still be valid after the price reduction. My assumption was wrong.

The transferal fee was equivalent to the reduction in price he gave in the 2^nd round. At the end of the day, I was paying the same amount.

This entire transaction was based on relationship and trust. I did not feel the need to document everything. That was my fatal mistake.

Point to note: No matter who you are negotiating with, always make sure every term is made clear and documented. This can save you much trouble and even the relationship. The person you are negotiating with might not treasure the relationship as much as you do. Never take things for granted.

Remember: Always negotiate every term and condition. Document all commitments.

—————–
Jens Thang
Negotiation Skills for Everyone

Email: jens@thenegotiationguru.com

Today, my friend David shared with me how he negotiated against his credit card company. He received a letter from his bank two days ago with an additional charge of $160 after he supposedly breached a clause of theirs. He was totally unaware of this clause and decided to make a trip down to the bank.

The lady who attended to him was really rude. She would not budge no matter how hard he tried to get the charge waived off. He decided to take another approach.

“Has the bank ever made an exception to cases like this?”

“No, sir.”

“Why?”

“It’s written very clearly in the contract that if you…”

“I was totally unaware of the fine prints. The banker whom i opened my account with did not warn me of this”

“Well, I can’t really help you in that.”

“Do you think this qualify as a potential fraud case?”

“Eh…”

-Long Pause-

“Is there someone I can talk to regarding this case? This is so unethical!”

“I can check if my manager is around.”

5 mins later, she returned.

“Alright, I will make an exception for you this time round.”

Bingo!

Notice how my friend used some of the negotiation tools to save $160? He did it with absolute style without burning any bridges or hurting any relationships.

Update: He decided to close his bank account after the charge was waived. Well…