The Negotiation Guru

Classy negotiator?! Is there such a thing? I believe there is. A negotiator is not always about being competitive, collaborative, avoiding and the whatnot. Whichever type of negotiating styles you have, you can still be a classy negotiator.

What’s a classy negotiator? Someone with class. Simple as that.

This does not mean that you have to put on your Hugo Boss suit that is tastefully designed and tailored. It means that you always maintain refined grace.

Being a classy negotiator means that you do not speak ill of the other party (before and after the negotiation). Instead, speak well of them in public.

Some of your peers might come up to you and say, “that guy is an ass.” Stop them. Correct them.

A classy negotiator will say, “well, it’s a pity that the deal did not work out the way both of us wanted to. We are still on good terms and looking forward to dealing with each other again.”

This is absolute class. Instead of trying to badmouth (or bitch about) the other party, you say good things about them.This is not being fake or phony. This is about respecting the other party. Putting the other party down and shifting all the blame to him for not being a good partner is a loser way of approaching things. Don’t act like a kid. Behave graciously.

Accept the fact that when a deal breaks down, it’s the fault of both sides. Never the fault of his alone.Having this mentality will change the way you deal with people. Have a positive outlook on everything.Believe that no matter how tough the party is, he has positive intentions. Perhaps both parties interests just don’t match.

Remember: Be a classy negotiator.

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Jens Thang
Unleash The Negotiation Guru In You!

What if you are face with such a goat? The nibbler attacks just when you are ready to close the deal. He will start asking for modest things to be included in the deal right before the deal is done. You can’t help but feel the urge to grant him his little demands.

“Can you add in this tie together with the suit?”

“Can you give me three years free warranty together with his?”

“There will be free delivery to my place right?”

You know that nibblers are attacking when they look for additional stuff to be included in the deal. They demand for something just before the agreement is being signed. Some people are really good at that. Just when you think you are reaching the finishing line, they throw you off by trying to squeeze some stuff out of you. You do not hope to see this deal go down the drains or strain the relationship with the other party, you begin to say yes.

Stop for a moment!

Why are you allowing this to happen? You must resist the temptation to close the deal and in the process, agree to every concession they ask for.

How to deal with such a situation?

1) Be very specific with the terms and clauses.

You must be very clear and very sure of what is included in the deal and what is not. Refuse to give the concession. Learn to say no to nibbling. Being assertive will prevent such a situation. When the other party has the leverage, you will be more prone to succumb to such nibbling acts.

2) Hold something back to give (if they start nibbling)

This is a popular tactic by retail stores. In order to retaliate against such requests by the consumers, they always have little free gifts prepared. I was trying to nibble before I pass them my credit card. I decided to try to ask for additional things to be included before I make the purchase.

“Will you be able to add this pair of socks together with my shoes? I need black socks.”

“Sir, we can’t do that. But we can give you a little brush to shine your shoes.”

There was no mention of the brush before I nibbled. This is probably the strategy of the shoe store to ward off nibblers like me. Both parties end up satisfied. I was glad I got the free brush, and they were glad they got the business.

3) If-Then tactic

The “If-Then” tactic is a very well-known tactic. Everyone deploys this tactic. When the other party starts to nibble, always try to trade for something.

“Will you add 3 years warranty to this?”

“Sir, we can do that. But you will have to purchase a 1 year warranty and we give you free upgrade to 3 years. How’s that for you?”

This almost always works! First, you can dissuade them of trying to nibble further. Second, you can get additional business.

Remember: Never succumb to nibbling.

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Jens Thang
Unleash The Negotiation Guru In You!

We never treasure things we obtain easily. This applies to all parts of life. We only treasure things that we cannot have and don’t see much value in things we get too easily.

To illustrate this point:

2 years ago, I was given the task of being the baby-sitter for the day. I had to take care of my niece. She was 6 years old then. It’s amazing how much i can learn about human psychology just by playing with my niece.

Kids love attention. And this can be irritating at times when you have other things to attend to. Imagine you are rushing your report which will be due the next day. And a kid keeps coming to you, demanding for attention. What will you do? Naturally, we will find something that will hold the kid’s attention, at least for a while. I gave my niece a soft toy to play with, hoping that it would hold her attention. After 5 minutes, she threw the toy on the floor and bugged me for another! I reckoned that if i were to give her another toy, the same thing would happen again. So, i decided to give value to the next toy i was going to give to her.

“This toy is really precious to me. My best friend gave it to me and I REALLY love it. I can’t let you have it.”

I did this for like 10 minutes. She grew impatient and started throwing tantrums. I simply ignored her. Then i said, “Alright, if you can be a good girl for 15 minutes (pointing to the clock), I will let you see my toy.” She agreed immediately.

In negotiations, similar situations happen all the time. We have something that the other party wants. Learning to hold back and create value for that thing (even if its free), we will be able gain leverage. Always give weight to everything they ask for.

We often hold back on the concessions we are willing to give until the other party agrees to giving us something that we value. Augmenting the attractiveness and value of a particular offer is a powerful tool to use to get what we want from the negotiation.

Never give away concessions too easily. Let them work for it.

I had a meeting with an angel investor earlier this week. She had started 4 companies in the last 30 years. Now she’s looking at startups to invest in. She talked about her experiences as an entrepreneur and how she had to negotiate with her board of directors, investors and banks.

She pointed out that a lot of deals die because one party is too tired. This is absolutely true. A negotiation can be a long and tiring event. No one likes to negotiate for long hours. There are people who even fear to negotiate.

How do you prevent this? This is specific to entrepreneurs who are looking to negotiate with venture capitalists or other investors.

1) Keep up the momentum

2) Do due diligence on investors

3) Keep valuation of your company in perspective

4) Ignore minor issues

5) Understand the term sheet and its implications

A lot of negotiations ended up negotiating over trivial points. This is the very reason why a lot of deals die.

What’s really important in a negotiation? What’s important to you? What’s important to the other party?

As I was driving this morning, I discovered something about human psychology. Or rather, I was under the effects of human psychology. I was driving and decided that I should take the right lane as it had faster traffic. As I drove on the right lane for 5 mins, it became really slow. Cars were moving very slowly, and the cars on the left lane were zooming past me. Subconsciously I was telling myself, “The right lane will be faster, I am pretty sure about that”. I stuck to my original decision for a good whole 10mins.

Suddenly, I realized that I was not making a rational choice. I should have switched to the left. So why didn’t I do that?I had invested too much into right lane. To prove that I was right, I stuck to my own decision despite it was not a rational thing to do. This is common to investors who invest in the stock market. They always sell the stocks that are earning and keep the stocks that are losing money. And this is because they want to prove that their initial judgment is right.In negotiation, we often get too committed to a deal. We invest our time and effort into preparing a deal and negotiating it. As time passes, we grew more committed to closing the deal. People say yes to a bad deal because they have invested too much and feel that they will lose more if they have no deal.Avoid getting hooked into such a situation. Always have a bottom-line and never compromise on your goals. Sometimes, no deal is better and a bad deal.

Many seasoned negotiators will tell you, never to say “No”. This is true. It has huge psychological effects and will dramatically affect the results of your negotiations. Even if you do not agree with the proposal, use other ways of saying “No”.

Never give a straight “No” answer.

1) “I don’t think this really works for me.”

2) “Can I suggest another alternative?”

3) “Maybe we can discuss this further.”

4) “I like your proposal but there are some points which I will need to clarify.”

5) “Let me think about it, I will get back to you.”

6) “I can’t do this but I can…”

7) “I understand your situation but I can’t confirm anything until …”

Always be polite, yet firm. Not that you have to be nasty to be firm. Recall how you were turned down by others in subtle ways. Learn from them. It can avoid hurting the other party’s pride as well.

Remember: Learn to say “No” in as many different ways as possible.

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Jens Thang
Unleash The Negotiation Guru In You!

Email: jens@thenegotiationguru.com