10 Commandments of Negotiations
Posted by: Jens Thang in Business Negotiation, Goals, Others, Standards, Tactics
Image By: OpenAir“How do you know you have failed in a negotiation? When the person sitting opposite you is celebrating.” - Jens Thang
Being successful in negotiations often requires much strategic thinking and planning ahead. Negotiation is a process which requires all parties involved to reach a consensus in situations where there may be potential conflict and disagreement.
The 10 commandments of negotiations here apply to every negotiator, deal maker, mediator, lawyer or simply anyone who’s trying to negotiate something. To be real successful in negotiations, you need to invest and reinvest time to prepare ahead and adopt skills to help you improvise on the spot.
Here are the 10 commandments of negotiations:
Rule 1: Prepare More Than The Other Party
“The more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in the fight” - Quote from movie 300
If you are better prepared than the other party you are negotiating with, you will almost always do better. Knowledge is really power at the negotiating table. Whether you are on the buying side or selling side, you will have an edge over the other party if you are better informed. Being better prepared will give you more confidence at the table that will definitely help you improve your negotiation results.
Evaluate the information you collect and decide on the factors that will have an effect on your negotiation. Keeping your eyes and ears open for additional information during the negotiation can assist you in the end result. Before you sit down at the table, know the real goal that you have. Understand what your limits on all aspects of the deal are. When you are better prepared, you will be able to accelerate every step of the process.
Rule 2: Learn To Walk Away
Walking away from a deal can be the hardest thing to do in business. Sometimes, we convince ourselves that we want the deal so much that we even have emotional attachments to it. But sometimes learning to walk away is the only way to get what you really want.
Always have viable alternatives and be ready to walk away. Knowing that you have other alternatives gives you power over the other party. If the negotiation is not going to get you what you want or falls out of your budget, simply walk away. Make it a point to alert your counterpart to the fact that you are not needy. This is a sign of strength.
Rule 3: Perseverance Pays
“Victory belongs to the most persevering.” - Napoleon Bonaparte
Whether you are fighting a war, coming up with the biggest invention or negotiating the deal you really want, perseverance will play a big part in the outcome. Sometimes, we get people trying to push us to the edge because they try to find out how far we are willing to go. Success comes to those who persevere to the end.
Rule 4: Keeping Your Mouth Shut
At some point in a negotiation, the best thing you can do is to keep your mouth shut. When you hear something which you really like, you can express interest in the offer and start probing more. Never make it explicitly known that you are hearing something which you like.
We often try too hard to make our message heard and understood. Do not get too caught up in your own thoughts. Learn to keep quiet and listen to what the other party has to say. Practise effective listening and be open to the other party’s message. Make it a point to listen when the other party starts talking. Taking notes on the important points is a good habit to have. Use these points to help you formulate the responses that you might have. Listening is the best way to collect information.
Rule 5: Do Not Rush To Close A Deal
Do not get distracted and rush to close a deal. There is simply no need to say yes all the time during the negotiation. If you find yourself eager to close a deal, take a step back and give yourself a time-break. Sometimes we move so fast to close a deal that we trip ourselves, only to regret our decision later.
Learn to project forward before making a decision. Look before you take the plunge. Many people are so eager to close a deal that they forget that they are there for a specific reason or a specific goal. Never rush to make a decision which you will later regret.
Rule 6: Have The Right People In Your Team
“Get the right people on the bus (and the wrong people off the bus) and then figured where to drive it.” - Jim Collins
What is really going to matter in a team negotiation is the quality of your team. Always go into a negotiation with a winning team. Do not start to think that it’s all about you. You will never know everything. No matter how good you are or how good you think you are, it is your team which will determine the success of your negotiation. Make sure that your team is better (or at least better prepared) than the other party.
Rule 7: Understand the terms and conditions
We always take things for granted. Failing to understand the terms and conditions thoroughly can cost you dearly. Always make sure that all the terms are properly negotiated during the process. If possible, make it a habit to document all the terms discussed. Having the terms documented (and maybe signed) is a form of commitment both sides have. This will help you avoid the problem of the other party going against an agreement that they have originally agreed to.
Rule 8: Learn To Let Go
“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on.” - Robert Frost
Many people suffer from what I call “myopic” negotiating. They get too hung up on a single issue. A negotiation is never about one single issue or a single person. It is a combination of many factors. In order to be successful in your negotiations, learn to let of the single issue which you believe is of great importance. Be open to suggestions. And if you do not like what you hear, you can always suggest some of your own. The sky is the limit.
Rule 9: Make Friends, Not Enemies
It is always better to make friends than enemies. Understand that a successful negotiation is not a one-off event. It is a series of relationships that might follow after the deal is being done. Do not bargain so hard with the other party that you ruin the opportunity for another deal.
Rather than seeking a long-term relationship with the party they are negotiating with, some negotiators head for immediate rewards. Even when you are dealing with your competitors, it is still a good practice to be friendly to them. Not because it’s important to be nice and avoid conflict, but simply because it’s good business. As in any good relationship, what goes around comes around.
Rule 10: Look At The Big Picture
Always remember the “Big Picture”. Here are the reasons why it’s important to look at the big picture:
1) When you have to make a decision during a negotiation, you will be more likely to make one in favor of your situation.
2) It gives you clarity. When you are under the pressure in the midst of all the actions in a negotiation, the big picture will shed light into every decision you make and every action you take.
3) Allows you to make decisions with confidence.
Conclusion
Image by: Etoile
Great negotatiors are not born with negotiation skills. Knowing the basics and principles of negotiations will not get you the deal you want. It is through disciplined thoughts and disciplined actions that you learn the art of negotiation.
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Jens Thang
Negotiation Skills for Everyone
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Email: jens@thenegotiationguru.com
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1. 8 Best Ways to Get Power: Master Them to Negotiate Everything You Want
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3. How to Win in Negotiation: 4 Key Steps to Help You Prepare
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5. What do people lack most when they negotiate?
Tags: adr, business, conflict resolution, influence, mediation, negotiation, psychology, strategy, tips
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March 30th, 2008 at 11:44 am
Excellent rules to live by, Jens. I would take Rule #4 one step further, practicing not only effective listening, but making a conscious effort to actively question as well. In my experience, there is a strong tendency for the negotiator to become “internally” focused, devoting most thought to our individual goals, strategies, etc. at the expense of trying to understand the interests of the other party. Ironically, it seems the tendency becomes stronger as the level of preparation increases. Making a point to ask open-ended, probing questions provides invaluable insights into your counterpart’s interests and paves the way for additional dialogue, a better relationship and better results.